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The Girl Behind the Door A Father's Journey Into the Mystery of Attachment

free download The Girl Behind the Door A Father's Journey Into the Mystery of Attachment

A Marin County California father embarks on a journey to understand what led his seventeen year old daughter Casey to take her life He travels back to her abandonment at birth and adoption from a Polish orphanage at fourteen mon. Oh wow This is a gut wrenching and painfully honest Surrender to Ecstasy understand what led his seventeen year old daughter Casey to take her life He travels back to her abandonment at birth and adoption from a Polish orphanage at fourteen mon. Oh wow This is a gut wrenching and painfully honest

review ä PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB Õ John Brooks

Iors that no one understood including mental health professionals His search leads to a condition known as attachment disorder an affliction common among children who have been abandoned neglected or abusedIt explained everythin. John and Erika Brooks experienced a parent's worst

John Brooks Õ 6 read

Ths through her happy childhood and her turbulent adolescence searching for answers In most respects Casey was a perfectly normal girl – beautiful smart and popular accepted at an elite college But she also had troubling behav. This is raw as hell I've read books about far harr

10 thoughts on “The Girl Behind the Door A Father's Journey Into the Mystery of Attachment

  1. says:

    The Girl Behind the Door was doubly sad and heartbreaking John Brooks and his wife Erika adopted a Polish orphan in the early 1990s when she was around 10 months old They renamed her Casey and brought her to live an upper middle class life in the Bay Area in California The book opens with Casey's suicide at the age of 17 when she jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge Throughout the rest of this memoir Brooks recounts their tumultuous life with Casey from the time they brought her home her intelligence wicked wit intense mood swings tantrums insecurity inconsistent academic performance sporadic drug use etc They tried therapy medication imposing strict limits punishments being supportive but Casey's difficulties were persistent Erika and John felt a deep love and commitment for Casey but they were often exasperated tired worn down and self doubting And then after another bad weekend but no worse than others in the past Casey jumped off the bridge The book is doubly sad because following the retelling of the events leading to Casey's death Brooks recounts his search to understand what happened and ultimately in large part he lays the blame at his and Erika's feet He realizes that they had never considered the effects of her early childhood and he discovers a whole wealth of writing and expertise on the traumatic effects of early childhood in an orphanage and the resulting attachment disorder More important than anything he comes to feel that without this understanding he and Erika did everything wrong that they should not have treated her like an ordinary misbehaving child but that they should have worked to reassure her over and over again that nothing she could do would lead them to abandon her I feel teary as I write this To lose a child is the worse thing that can happen To feel that there's something you could have done and should have done to prevent the loss is unimaginable But Brooks seems to have written this memoir as part of the healing process and in the hopes that other adoptive parents in his shoes will be better informed Although dealing with a hugely painful topic in the end this book is readable because Brooks is so straightforward and sincere in sharing his story This is a hard book to read but it's definitely worthwhile Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an opportunity to read an advance copy

  2. says:

    This is a sad memoir of the belated discovery of attachment disorder among adopted children and how the author whose daughter jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to her death found out about itAlthough the author sometimes seems like Dagwood Bumstead in his inability to do simple things like hold a baby the screeching relationship that he and his wife had with their developmentally delayed adopted Polish daughter sounds like pure hell Sadly he didn't even come to know about attachment disorder until after his daughter's deathIt is a cautionary tale for adoptive parents to do early research on foreign adoptions especially of developmentally disabled children before they actually undertake the process Being the father of an adopted daughter myself I can imagine how bad it could get and how lucky my wife and I were never to have any evidence of attachment disorder with our Korean daughter All she ever wanted was to be boss of herself and she certainly is as an adultThis is a valuable book because it seems that there is little research done on attachment disorders and this may provide an impetus for to be done and for happier adoptions to be executed in the future

  3. says:

    Oh wow This is a gut wrenching and painfully honest story of a family who realized too late that their adopted daughter likely suffered from attachment disorder As parents there is no one right answer and we all plod along trying our best sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don't I think this book has the potential to change mindsets and practices of how we adopt children especially children adopted from orphanages I couldn't put this book down and it is weighing heavy on my mind John Brooks I think what you and your wife did for Casey was amazing I'm sorry you lost her but maybe your memoir will help others understand the confusing and devastating behaviors associated with attachment issues Thank you for sharing your story

  4. says:

    This book should be a wakeup call to all adoptive parents and professionals about the urgent issues adoptees and their parents face John Brooks has written a compelling account of his experience of losing his beloved adopted daughter to suicide A must read for anyone who has adopted or plans to adoptNancy Newton Verrier attachment therapist and author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self

  5. says:

    Devastating I'm also curious what percent of adoptees from regular adoptions not orphanages have a degree of attachment disorder

  6. says:

    This is raw as hell I've read books about far harrowing experiences but this grieving father exposes his heart and soul and his pain took my breath away I had a difficult time reading this and not being majorly bummed John Brooks and his wife Erika adopt Casey from Poland in the early 90s She is already over a year old and living in an orphanage Although she has a reasonably normal childhood she becomes out of control as a teenager Interesting book in that it explores Attachment Disorder heavily affecting children who went without a primary caregiver which the author is now well aware of He knew nothing about it prior to his daughter taking her life This dad just broke my heart He tried so hard to do everything right and it all went so very wrong

  7. says:

    John and Erika Brooks experienced a parent's worst nightmare when their seventeen year old daughter Casey jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge and took her own life He shares Casey's and their family's story so that others may benefit from the tragedyThis book is a candid telling of their story Poignant and heartbreaking and yet filled with love for his daughter I wanted to read it because I have long been interested in how the experiences of childhood translate into who we are as adults And how and why seemingly insignificant events can often stay with us our entire lives I am richer for having read this book

  8. says:

    This book is a must read in my opinion It helped me understand something i never understood before And had helped me i think to understand someone better I started this book assuming it was going to be a book with a twist like that it wasnt suicide and was prepared to be disappointed and unimpressed However this book is exactly the opposite to what i expected and the opposite to the books i normally read But i absolutely loved it If you havent already give it a go

  9. says:

    How must a parent react to their child’s suicide especially if the child’s death is on their hands? The novel The Girl Behind the Door by John Brooks takes place in San Francisco and includes realistic characters and events It revolves around a mystery as to why their daughter committed suicide and explains the toxic relationship between child and parent In the novel the narrator is the father of the child and throughout the story he explains his thoughts and feelings towards his daughter’s unhealthy behavior and suicide I really enjoyed this book it is a very sensitive topic that not many mainstream media talk about but I believe that this topic should be expressed in today’s society The story begins with the event of Casey’s suicide Casey left a note for her parents apologizing and saying that she was at the Golden Gate Bridge where she jumped and killed herself After her father finds out that his daughter died the novel flashbacks to the process of him and his wife Erika adopting Casey in a Polish Orphanage Throughout the novel her father explains the events of his parenting experience and the growth of Casey When she was a toddler she often had temper tantrums and her behavior was harmful to herself and her parents As she grew up these tantrums and fits became worst and freuent Her parents constantly have to deal with this bad behavior and no matter what they do whether that is punishing her or talking to her calmly these tantrums never ended Having this behavior affected Casey’s academics and relationship with her parents causing her to smoke and use drugs Everyday in their household consisted of a battle between Casey and her parents I give this book a five out of five stars John Brooks did an amazing job with the layout of the novel and the topic is something that I enjoy learning The psychological meaning behind the story is very touching and deep which is what kept me engaged into it Even though I have not experienced these events in the novel I do enjoy learning about the human behavior and the therapeutic environment that the author provides me When I get older I dream of caring for people with mental health and hopefully become a therapist this book helps me understand why some people may behave in a certain way Something I would like to know is how does Casey’s father move on and what does the future hold for him and his wife? John Brooks novel The Girl Behind the Door is one of my favorite books so far

  10. says:

    I applaud the author for writing this book I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to walk through all of the difficult times with a daughter who eventually kills herself I thought the author did a very good job highlighting the mistakes he and his wife made along the way most done with the right intentions but harmful nonetheless That takes courage I also thought the information on attachment disorders was well researched and presentedWhere this book bothered me was the way the psychiatrists and therapists were portrayed in several cases like they didn't care or were inept While I am not in this field I do know that it is very very hard to diagnose mental disorders in a patient who won't talk to you This isn't a TB test the brain is unbelievably complicated and with an uncooperative patient next to impossible to discern Casey was a skilled manipulator and could easily have intentionally fooled or misled her caregivers There are certainly fraudulent psychiatric professionals out there but the ones they encountered seemed to me to be ualified and well intentionedI also take exception to some of the criticism of Poland from where Casey was adopted and here I do have experience as I also lived there for several years in the 1990's at the time Casey was adopted When you come from a wealthy American suburb it is next to impossible to understand how chaotic desperate and ill resourced the country was in 1990 following decades of Soviet Communist influence and mistreatment also true elsewhere in Eastern Europe The people who cared for CaseyJoanna were likely than not unpaid or owed wages under resourced and had 10x the children that they should have They were by all measures saints It's a little too convenient to throw them under the bus and suggest they didn't hold or hug their daughter enough during her first 14 months of life The nuns may have had unlimited love but VERY limited money adolescent psychiatric training and hours in the dayWhen the author started to look for answers as to why his daughter committed suicide it should not have surprised him in our overly litigious society that people in the adoption process did not want to speak with himMy final criticism was on the epilogue After several chapters on addressing the root causes of Casey's problems the book ends on the importance of installing suicide jump nets on the Golden Gate Bridge That seems like a band aid solution to me though it may save lives It isn't necessarily dumb or wrong but just seems out of place I'd like to have known about how the author and his wife were doing Overall a good book not necessarily a great book but a courageous one that I hope brings the author some closure

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